


Nothing like last Christmas

by Daily_Scenarios



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Missing Scene, bit of smut, talking about last year's christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 08:02:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17158277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daily_Scenarios/pseuds/Daily_Scenarios
Summary: “There are some dreams you just cannot forget Aaron no matter how hard you try. And that dream was one of those ones.”Or...They had to talk about what happened a year ago... simple as that





	Nothing like last Christmas

Aaron jolted awake, then immediately reached out his hand to search for Robert's. He didn't find it. The bed was empty.  He went downstairs, rubbing his eyes, calling out for him - “Robert, you here?”

 

“In the kitchen.”- he heard him whisper. It was dark, and without a light on he barely saw him, but his voice made him calm. Why was he nervous in the first place? He had no clue.

 

“What are you doing in the dark you muppet? At least put on the Christmas lights.” - he said as he switched them on. Now he could see Robert. Sitting at the kitchen table, with a glass of wine in his hand. - “Erm, what are you doing? It's 2am. Isn't it a bit late for drinking?” - he asked with a soft smile. He didn't know why but now that he was able to see his husband's face, he felt better. He came closer slowly before he took a seat opposite him. Robert was still silent, apart from the half smile he got for Aaron. - “Hey.” - he said as he reached across the table to grab his hand. - “What is it?”

 

“Nothing. I.... I just couldn't sleep I guess.” - shrugged Robert. 

 

“So you decided to come down for a drink.... at 2am?” - asked Aaron sceptically.

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“Come on Robert you have to give me something. I know it's not the real reason. You've been weird all day. Don't think I haven't noticed.” - true enough his mood was way off. He spaced out for no good reason, hugging Aaron every time he got the chance. He was clingy, but every time Aaron asked about it, he made a joke and hoped Aaron would forget it. Now he couldn't make any excuses anymore. 

 

“I just... remembered what it was like a year ago. And... I don't know... I guess it put me in a mood, sorry.” - he said apologetically 

 

“Why didn't you tell me?” - asked Aaron as he kept holding his hand – “I should've known. - he muttered. Robert didn't say a word, but raised his head to look at him – “I.. might've had a bad dream.”

 

“What? Now?” - asked Robert already alert.

 

“Yeah that's why I woke up to be honest.” - said Aaron – “Erm... could you.... could you pour me a glass as well?” - he asked looking at the bottle on the table. 

 

“Really? “

 

“Yeah”

 

“Was it that bad?” - asked Robert trying to be funny. 

 

“No.... well.... depends.”

 

“On what?” - he asked as he gave the glass to Aaron.

 

“It was mostly just weird.” 

 

“Okay I'm curious now. D'you wanna tell me?” - he asked sitting next to him. 

 

“Yeah” – he said before he downed the whole glass – “but we should move to the sofa, sitting here is not that comfortable.”

 

“Okay.” - said Robert still thinking about how his husband gulped down the whole glass at one go. 

 

They went over to the couch and Robert immediately sat in the corner with legs wide open, so Aaron could sit between them, resting his back to his chest. It was comfortable, warm and most of all it felt like home.

 

“So?” - asked Robert as he put his arms around Aaron, so he could cuddle up to him a bit more. 

 

“It's silly.”

 

“I don't care.” 

 

“It was kind of about last Christmas... and not at the same time.” 

 

“How d'ya mean?”

 

“It was like.... I was the only one seeing you. And every time I tried to mention you to me mum, or Liv.. or anyone basically.. they went like ' _Robert, who?'_ ” - said Aaron before he heard the chuckle behind him. - “It's not funny!” - he smiled – “It was awful.”

 

“But we weren't together then.” - he said with a sigh.

 

“Yeah, but it doesn't mean I didn't want to be with you.”

 

“You did?” - he asked in a whisper.

 

“Of course you idiot. I told you on Christmas day.” 

 

“I know.”

 

“But you didn't want it.” 

 

“I did.”

 

“No, you said.....”

 

“I said I let you go.... because I knew we both need more time. It wouldn't have been right.” 

 

“But I didn't need time Robert.” - said Aaron turning his head so he can look him in the eye. 

 

“I just wanted to make sure you were in a right place, and happy. Because I mean it Aaron that was always my main concern. For you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted. You know that right?” - he asked kissing his cheek. 

 

“Yeah I know.” - whispered Aaron closing his eyes. They were silent for a while before Aaron took a big breath and asked – “Your turn.”

 

“You what?”

 

“Well I did tell you what was bothering me... now it's your turn.”

 

“Oh I see.” - he smirked.

 

“It's only fair.” - he heard Aaron saying. 

 

“It was nothing specific, I just woke up and I was thirsty at first so I came down...”

 

“There's a bottle of water on my side, why didn't you just grab that?” - asked Aaron. He always got a bottle of water next to their bed, it was his thing. 

 

“I wanted something....”

 

“...Wait let me guess, sweet.” - smiled Aaron. 

 

“Well, you know me, anyway I came downstairs....”

 

“...And decided to open a bottle of wine....” - interrupted Aaron. 

 

“I'm sorry, but who's telling this story, me or you?” - asked Robert smiling.

 

“Sorry, sorry, go on.” - he smirked.

 

“I just... saw the Christmas tree, the decorations, and I don't know I just sort of thought about what happened last Christmas and how that was the toughest part of my life.”

 

“That couldn't have been the toughest.” 

 

“I don't know about you Aaron, but for me loosing you was pretty tough.” - said Robert sulking. 

 

“Hey.” - he said turning around completely so he could face him. - “Sorry, it was a joke.” - he said with one hand on his arm, the other stroking his cheek.

 

“I went through hell Aaron. I... I never thought I could get to spend another day with you let alone Christmas. This year... it's special. You have no idea how mu....” - he couldn't finish the sentence because Aaron's lips found his, to gave him a soft kiss.

 

“I know. You wanna know something?” - he asked biting his lip. - “I missed you so much I kept having these dreams....”

 

“What dreams?”

 

“They were pretty random, but you were there... always. With me. Just you and me. No matter what happened. And around Christmas it was worse, because I had 4 dreams in a row. Every night.” 

 

“I didn't know that.” - he said surprised.

 

“Well now you know.” - he nodded at him. - “This Christmas is special for me as well you know. Everyone said how I should move on and forget you... but I just couldn't. And even if I didn't want to admit at first... I never really wanted to. I knew that you were it for me. I was incapable of loving anyone else.”

 

“Even someone like the perfect doctor?” - he asked rolling his eyes. 

 

“Especially someone like him.” - laughed Aaron. - “Robert, do you have any idea how bored I was?” 

 

“But everyone said...”

 

“Sod everyone!” - he chuckled. - “You know there was a time last year when I sat here, in front of the telly, and out of nowhere I just remembered something Vic said a long time ago.”

 

“What?”

 

“That I could be never happy with someone who would be happy to watch a Downton box set or something like that” – he laughed. - “We don't do boring.” - he gestured to themselves - “ You and me were never boring. And yes we do fight occasionally, but, the make up is kinda worth it.” - he grinned. 

 

“I love you too.” - said Robert kissing him. - “A year ago I was a drunken mess, thinking how I lost the only good thing in my life. But... I got you back, and I promise I'm never gonna take it for granted.” 

 

“I know.” - said Aaron smiling at him. - “I can't believe I managed that far without you to be honest.” 

 

“Yeah it's a mistery to me as well....”

 

“Oi! Smug git.” - he laughed shoving a pillow to his face.

 

“No, I meant for myself.” - he answered laughing – “I'm so grateful Aaron.” - he said looking at him like he was the only man in the world. 

 

“I know. Me too. Wait.” - he started thinking. - “Is this why you came up with all of those events... and the Christmas decoration? And that everything has to be perfect?”

 

“I just... I wanted to have a nice Christmas. You know... nothing like last year.”

 

“You're such an idiot.” - he chuckled.

 

“Oh thanks a bunch...”

 

“Anything is perfect as long as it has the only thing I need for it to be perfect.”

 

“And what is that?” 

 

“You. You idiot.” - he said kissing him again. 

 

“That.... that was the soppiest thing you've ever said to me.” - smiled Robert. 

 

“Yeah I know... I should be embarrassed, but.. it's true.” - he said shrugging his shoulders – “And it's Christmas, people are meant to be soppy, right?”

 

Robert only smiled at this before he looked at him suddenly, like someone who just had the greatest idea of all times. - “Are you sleepy?” - he asked out of the blue.

 

“No.... why?” - he asked with a grin on his face, because he already knew the answer. 

 

“I think you know.” - said Robert before he stood up to switch off the lights, then extended his hand to pull Aaron up the stairs, back into their room. 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Hey hey, what's the rush?” - asked Aaron as he tried to slow Robert down. 

 

“Nothing, I just want you so much.” - he said kissing him. 

 

“Hmm Robert, Robert wait.” - he said pushing him back a bit. - “Are you okay?” - this behavior was odd. And yes Robert was always passionate but Aaron could tell something was off. 

 

“I will be. I just, I need you okay?” - he said. Something in his voice made Aaron want to hug him and never let him go.

 

“You've got me, alright? Just, lie down.” - he said looking at the bed behind them. Robert wasted no time to get comfortable, waiting for Aaron to join him. Aaron still had his doubts. He wanted to know what was the matter with Robert, but it was clear that his husband only wanted one thing right now. - “Take them off.” - he said gesturing to his clothes, as he went to his bedside table to get the lube. He tossed it next to Robert before he started undressing as well. 

He got between Robert's legs, kicking them a bit to make more space for himself, then he lied down on his front. He prepped kisses over his body, his chest, his rib cage, under his bellybutton, and he was glad to hear his husband moaning his name. He felt his hard on against him and he was ready to take care of it, but his brain couldn't let go of Robert's weird behavior. He had to ask – “You sure you don't want to tell me what's up with you?” - he asked carefully, but not carefully enough. Robert's eyes fluttered open before he groaned in annoyance. 

 

“Please Aaron... just fuck me already.”

 

“No.” - he said sitting back on his heels. - “Not until you start talking to me. What's up with you Robert? Why are you acting like this?”

 

“Is it a crime to wanna have sex with my husband?” - he asked offended.

 

“No, but we both know it's not the reason. Come on... just tell me.” 

 

“I just want you Aaron, why can't you understand this?” - he asked. His voice broke suddenly, and Aaron can see the look in his eyes. He was about to cry.

 

“Robert....” - he addressed him with the softest voice. - “Come here.” - he said before he sat next to him and got an arm around him. It should've been awkward, but it wasn't. - “Talk to me.” - asked Aaron.

 

“I'm sorry.... I should be over this.”

 

“What?”

 

“Last Christmas.”

 

“What?”

 

“I just.... I cannot help it, a few days ago.... I had a dream.”

 

“A bad dream?”

 

“Terrible.”

 

“Wanna tell me?” - he asked trying to encourage him. 

 

“It was very familiar to the one I had when I had that accident last year.” - he started.

 

“And you still remember it?”

 

“There are some dreams you just cannot forget Aaron no matter how hard you try. And that dream was one of those ones.”

 

“You never told me this.”

 

“And I shouldn't be telling you now.” - he sighed.

 

“Yes you should. I'm your husband. We're a team, I wanna help ya Robert.”

 

“And talking about it will help?” 

 

“Maybe. But I'm not gonna touch you until you give me some answers. I just can't, I'm sorry.” - he said stroking his arm.

 

“I know.”- he said taking a deep breath. -”It was like a movie I guess. And the events kept repeating themselves, over and over again. It was the same, but little details were always different.” - he said stopping suddenly. 

 

“Go on... then what?”

 

“I just wanted to get to you.. to talk to you... but I couldn't. There was always someone in the way.... then I finally reached you.... and then the same thing started again... but everything went black. I felt like dying, but it wasn't my funeral. It was yours.” - he said finally looking into Aaron's eyes. His tears were streaming down his face. - “I wished it would be mine just so you can get to live.” - he said sniffling. 

 

“Robert.... it was only a dream.”

 

“I know, I know.” - he sighed. - “And I was fine... after it happened I sorted my life out, and we were friends again.... then I got you back and I was fine, honestly.”

 

“But?”

 

“But a few days ago I had the same dream, well almost the same. And ever since that happened I just.. I can't get it out of my head. And I know it's stupid but... I have... this fear, that one day I wake up and you won't be there... that it was all a dream.”

 

“No, that won't happen, you hear me?” - he said hugging him tight. - “I'm not going anywhere.” 

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay?”

 

“I think I feel better.” - said Robert. They were still hugging.

 

“This is the real reason you were down in the kitchen earlier?”

 

“Yeah.” - he admitted. - “I didn't want to wake you.”

 

“You know, it's funny.... that both of us had a bad dream about last year's Christmas.” - said Aaron thinking. 

 

“Well, no offence but it was shit.”

 

“It really was.” - he chuckled. - “You sure you're okay now?” - he asked stroking his chest.

 

“Yeah.” - he whispered kissing his cheek. - “But... I still want you.” - he said with a soft smile. 

 

“No.... I don't thi...”

 

“Please Aaron.”

 

“You sure you're up for it?”

 

“I think you know I am.” - he said simply as he grabbed Aaron's hand to put it on his cock. 

 

“But, I'm going slow, alright?” 

 

“Okay.” - he smiled laying back again. 

 

“I can't believe I let myself talk into this.” - muttered Aaron. - “We're gonna be dead tired tomorrow.”

 

“You mean today.” - smirked Robert, taking a hold of Aaron's dick 

 

“Ahh. Robert... “- said Aaron trying to get his attention.

 

“What?”

 

“I love you.” - he said before he kissed him deep.

 

Maybe they will be tired but they couldn't care less. This night was emotional enough as it is. And after everything he's told him, Aaron couldn't leave Robert like that. It was difficult, for both of them. They were happy, but last year did happen, and it's a part of their history. They needed to talk about it, and Aaron knew that too. He just hoped, after this, Robert will be able to let things go. He was determined to prove him how important he is to him. And if he'll have to stay up all night because of it? So be it.

 

 


End file.
